Saturday, January 30, 2010

the kicks

you've heard it all before, but it does feel amazing when you get the kicks from your baby for the first time ... it feels a lot more real than any of the ultrasound or heartbeat amplifier ... those infrequent ripples in odd rhythms over my tummy ... blub blub ... blub ... blub blub blub ... i laugh whenever i get it.

actually i was wondering why i didn't get the kicks til now. i think i read it weeks ago in the 'what to expect' book, but i wasn't really checking out for it. after i felt it for the first time, i went back to the book. it actually mentions that you won't feel it when you are all busy, that you're more likely to feel it when you are all calm and settled at night ... so work has kept me so busy that i wasn't even feeling my own baby's kicks til now??? i felt kinda guilty for a second.

over this weekend, i actually watched 2 movies - án education' and 'whip it'. these are random choices really, but it turns about to be of similar subject matters - teenage wanting to get out there and experience the bigger world, with parents hurt but relationships amended along the way. when i used to watch movies like this, it usually brings reflections on my own teenage years. but this time, i can't help but to fall into the role of the supporting cast - those playing the parents!

in the quiet night as the movie rolls on, i feel my baby kicks again and again. the kicks ... it suddenly feels like a sign ... it's the physical kicks now that brings me the laughs ... then it will grow into emotional kicks as the years go by, and those will be much stronger, bring me bigger laughs or hurtful cries ... and if i don't calm myself and pay enough attention, the kicks might just go pass unnoticed, and i would have missed it all ...

so here i record this moment of the kicks.

and i promise myself i will treasure more of the kicks to come.

ak & mini @ week 25